Isvarapraidhana (surrender of all thoughts and actions)

Post date: Sep 18, 2013 8:16:18 PM

I am a yoga teacher, the mother of two beautiful girls, and the wife of a PhD student. I remember the list of qualities I desired in my future spouse before I got married 12 years ago. It read something like this:

1. has the same Faith

2. has to be patient

3. has to be older than me

4. has a sense of humor

...

Number 3 is particularly interesting because the reason he should be older is because he has to be done with his schooling so I don't have to deal with that. And also I remember around that time (when I was hunting for my future spouse ;-) that I was praying so much to develop the virtue of patience in myself. I thought I had a lack of that virtue and wanted to learn to be more patient.

Then I met this wonderful man, who soon became my husband, who fit all the qualities I was looking for. Except who knew he would go back to school shortly after our marriage! I don't know where I got the idea, but I had this idea of not wanting to be a wife of a PhD student. Then here I am!

Now I think back: I should have been clearer about my prayer for being patient. I should have wanted to be JUST A BIT more patient (4 years of waiting for him to finish), not this much more (over 7 years)! Ha-ha!

To be honest, it has been not easy for me to accept the delay of his graduation each year. I think the test wasn’t about him, it was about me wanting to be in control but unable to be. I was not willing to go with the flow, I was resisting. After a few years of resisting, I realized how it is much easier and painless when you surrender, go with flow, and accept the things that you don't have control over.

Then I started to see the beautiful things that have happened for me as well. Because of this situation I got deeply into yoga and because of him taking his time I got to stay near an excellent yoga teacher and got more training and qualifications as a yoga instructor, which is something I want to be for the rest of my life.

Life is a journey, not a destination. Though it gets tough sometimes, I enjoy every step of my journey with a deep inhalation of cosmic energy and a deep exhalation of surrendering myself to the Will of God.