Post date: Dec 15, 2016 4:16:2 AM
“Change is not something that we should fear. Rather, it is something that we should welcome. For without change, nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom, and no one in this world would ever move forward to become the person they’re meant to be.” – B.K.S. Iyengar
It has been two month since we moved to Lubbock, Texas. I think it has been quite a smooth journey to settle down in a new city with only a few bumps. The biggest bump was the house. It was a quick move so we only had a chance to see the house we are renting on-line, not in person. A big mistake! We got here after 5 days of long driving expecting to stretch our legs in our new and clean house. I mean it was only new to us. It was built in 1926 so it went through the Dust Bowl and is still standing all right (except there are some cracks along the walls so it may fall down one of these years ;) I admire the history of this house but it wasn’t clean at all. Oh my, I still remember the feeling of disappointment when I try to open the windows in this old house. It was so dirty and thick with dust, as I opened them with all my strength, they dropped thick red mud-like dust all over the place. It seemed like no one ever opened the windows after the Dust Bowl. Not to mention the filthiness of the kitchen, bath rooms and walls. Due to the foundation settling and/or bad craftsmanship, the floor is not even in the bedroom and hall, and the bathroom door didn’t fit the frame. Anyway, over the weeks, we cleaned and repaired so it became more like home even with an uneven floor. Though our kids still don’t think it is our home (yet). Anyway I told myself that I will take this challenge and will do my best to find beauty in here. It was hard in the beginning, since I loved the city we left so much. I have spent all of my 30s there and it became my home. So naturally I have many attachments, which are hard to let go of. It was interesting to observe how my mind was busy comparing things between the two cities wherever I went. I compared the schools, shopping malls, streets, parks and people. Once we were driving to see a canyon. To get there, we drove through this endless field where there is nothing but the sky to look at. In the middle of driving, I caught myself dreaming about driving through greenery filled with moss-covered trees. haha Then with a little bit of guilt, since I know I am supposed to be in the moment, I let those thoughts/memories go away slowly. It took a while with a feeling of judgement: oh greenery is better than empty field. I’d rather take rain than the hot dry air, etc. Then, slowly I immersed myself in the surroundings. There were different types of grass, little trees, weeds, and of course the beautiful, spacious sky. Once in a while there were little animals, jack-rabbits, I believe, jumping around. Then, we got to this beautiful canyon where wild bison were roaming around right next to the road! It was such an amazing sight! To be honest, though, I still have a preference for forests over canyons, but at least I could find different beauty there. It is fascinating for me to observe how it takes time for me to experience things as they are. How my past experience sometimes becomes a prejudice to a new situation in the present. Change is inevitable in our lives whether it is big or small. I hope to find beauty in whatever situation I might find myself in, even if it is not the way I expected.